Hyderabad Journal Part 1

Survival of the fittest. A term that's quite frequently used in many contexts. Just thought I would add that here to make sure I use a lot of words.

Getting back to reality, in the not so distant past, I moved to the land of Hyderabad. The city of charminar, biryani and bangles (pearls too) according to some people. Since I am a part of this exotic city with its unbearable heat and hairy chicks, I would like to share my twopence worth knowledge about the city and its offerings.

1. Hyderabad biryani is fake. Ask any Hyderabadi where to eat proper authentic biryani, they would point u a place thats like 5 kms away. You take the pain and travel the distance baring the heat and surviving the traffic to find out it tastes like the biryani that u get in any other city. You approach any other Hyderabad (or the same person) and they would tell you that place you ate was crappy and suggest another place which is abt 10 - 15 kms away. Eat in that place and you will find out that it tastes the same. Ask the question again and they will say you wasted time eating at a crappy place then suggest a place which is like 40 kms away from where you stay and pray that you dont get there. I did a bit of research on this matter and found out that 40 kms in any direction from where i stay is outside Hyderabad. So I either find a road and keep doing U-turns for like 35 kms and eat in the nearest restaurant or go outside of Hyderabad for Hyderabad biryani. Am I the only one to find this ironic?
Useful suggestion tip: If you want to taste hyd authentic biryani, have it in any restaurant closest your place or have one of those instant biryani packets from MTR or something.

2. Charminar is a store place for manure and pawn shops. If you want to know what charminar actually looks like, look in the back of those wax matchboxes.

3. Traffic comes from all directions. Look left, right, straight, back, up and down all the time. You would never know whats going to run over you.

4. Traffic signals redefined. RED means brake at the junction before you continue to your destination. YELLOW means that the signal is not working. GREEN means you just zip past till you run over some old man who is attempting to cross the road. Usually the crash is accompanied by a few hundred people and a tree that just pop out of nowhere waiting to be hit.

Survival factor tip: If you want to travel, take the auto. Driving or riding will get you run over. The auto is an instrument of death for those who cross its path. As a passenger, you get ripped off and stay much poorer for traveling in one. But as the first sentence in this blog goes, you end up surviving inside the auto. You also get your money's worth by the roller coaster ride courtesy of the driver who sits sideways at the edge of the seat (auto drivers possess the rare disease due to which they cant sit straight in their seat). Hence, there are no amusement parks in Hyderabad.

Before my brain spills off, I would like to conclude at this point. More to follow later on. Over and out. Peace hippies.